Your Dog Boys of Summer
by Jubilee3
Summary: Will is nineteen. And Sonny knows better.
1. Chapter 1

_"So you came like a missile  
Leaving me the whole world in exile  
Think you're giving but you're taking my life away_

Like the drunk you convinced was sober  
You keep me falling over  
In the daylight  
Think you're giving but you're taking my life away  
Think you're giving but you're taking my life away."

— "Missile" by IAMX.

_I. Summer, Year One_

His summer in Salem begins with a photograph.

"Hey, take a picture of me and Sonny."

Sonny's head is swimming pleasantly when T's bare arm falls warm and heavy across his shoulders. He holds himself very still.

When he left for his morning jog, it was mostly to clear his head of fears and doubts about the unknown, and then his afternoon became about new friends playing like fawns and sprites in the water.

Loneliness and the hiding belong in the past. And these beautiful new friends have come so easily, as if they were just waiting for him, like a reward for finally being brave. It's so easy to feel optimistic.

Kinsey holds up her camera phone.

They smile.

The camera flash leaves spots in his eyes.

* * *

Sonny never gets the chance to come out to his new friends.

He's been back in Salem all of two minutes before he's outed. Supposedly, a friend- of-a-friend who knows about Sonny recognizes him from the picture on T's facebook. All it takes is one snide posted comment, and then the information goes viral.

The fallout could have been worse. Most of his new friends stay. He even makes a few new ones within the Salem gay community once they reach out to him. Most embrace him.

Chad stuns them all when he puts his arm around Sonny and practically snarls, "Now, listen, Sonny. If you don't want to screw up your _zen_ like you said, I would be happy to deck this bitch for you."

T is clearly hurt by this betrayal. "Chad," he says. "I'm _your_ friend. I'm just trying to warn you that—"

Chad isn't having it. His arm squeezes Sonny's shoulders so tight he thinks there might be a bruise later.

"You and I both know that's a bunch of bull. You're trying to hassle my friend Sonny here. After the last week of Dimera family _fun_, I am _not_ in a place of _zen_, so I would be more than happy to pound the political incorrectness out of you. Now, get the hell out of here."

Chad has known him all of five minutes. Yet, he's clearly claimed Sonny as one of his own even though he was just sizing him up for a Kiriakis spy. Their families are feuding apparently.

But at a threat from someone else, he's instantly protective and territorial— all _not in _my_ town, Homophobe!_ It's like a fantasy Sonny used to have in high school, when the hot popular boy would stand up for him against the bullies. Except this time it's actually happening.

Sonny doesn't have to do anything to earn Chad's allegiance. He just gives it.

That's… new.

At least he now knows who his real friends are, who can handle knowing the real him. It spares everyone a lot of potentially wasted time and pain.

As for T… Well, Sonny does his best to smile through the waves. It's nothing he hasn't experienced before.

* * *

A truth: Sonny never meant to push T out of the group. He wanted all of them, with their easy smiles and their sun-kissed shoulders. For a brief moment, he had thought he would get to be the missing piece, seamlessly inserting into his rightful place.

Sonny still sees T around campus sometimes. When their paths cross, T's stare is sharp as knives. His resentment runs just as hot as ever. Sonny tries not to make eye-contact. As long as T keeps his distance, they don't have a problem. He really doesn't want to have a problem.

Sonny will never tell anyone about the time T came to him while drunk out of his mind. He doesn't want anyone to ever know that T grabbed his face and pushed the same tongue into his mouth that he used to call Sonny a "fag." He ran his tongue along Sonny's teeth once, and then he pushed Sonny away, hard.

"You're a _disease_."

A lie: what he knows about T changes everything.

Sonny thinks that if he were the bigger person people seem to think he is, then he would try reaching out to T as he did for Will. He thinks that he would _want_ to.

He doesn't, he isn't, and he won't.

* * *

_II. Summer Heat_

Sonny doesn't think that he will ever get used to Salem's weather.

He spent his formative years in Texas, and then his parents had packed up the family and moved them all to Dubai. Once of age, he had run off to Africa to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and _find_ himself. None of those places are known for their cold weather.

His brothers are still in Dubai. Some mornings, before he's fully awake, Sonny thinks he's still there, too.

Dubai_ is_ heat. He grew used to seeing the world through a sepia-toned filter. Heat was in everything, in his very _skin_. Wherever he went, he carried it with him. Even the nights in Dubai meant open windows and warm, sticky sheets.

In Salem, people wear long coats with scarves and gloves on days they praise for being temperate. He's always cold here.

On the hottest day of the year in Salem, Will finds Sonny and his laptop huddled beneath a blanket on his parent's couch. "You realize people are heading to the lake today, right?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

Sonny shrugs. Will's pot can kiss his kettle. Here with what passes for a lazy summer day, and Will is dressed in a tie and blazer. He looks as if he's just come from a board meeting. He might have. The designer sunglasses perched on his head must have cost a fortune. EJ's fortune. He doesn't remember Will dressing like this before he started working for EJ.

Will drops his keys into the ceramic bowl on the coffee table before throwing his blazer over the back of the nearest chair. Next, he's going to take off his shoes and leave them in the middle of the room. Sonny waits for it, aaaaand yup. There he goes. Sonny hides a smile behind his hand.

Their shoulders bump when Will drops onto the couch beside him. It amuses him that his friend has no concept of personal space. Any space that he wants to be in becomes his space. Just as how when he wants your attention, he puts his hand firmly on your shoulder and stands in close just in case someone else might want your attention before he's done with it.

He drops a fat envelope onto Sonny's lap. "Hey, you got mail. It was on your doorstep."

Sonny recognizes the stamps and their meaning immediately, and his heart starts to race. His hands are shaking as he rips open the manila paper.

A flood of photographs fall onto his lap, some spilling onto the floor. Recognition flairs before he even really looks at them. Glimpses of sun and clay, and Sonny can feel wind and sand on his face again. Instead of picking the photographs up, he slides down the couch to join them on the floor.

Joey isn't really the type to communicate through letters, but these pictures say so much. He was just getting into photography when Sonny left Dubai. The evidence of Joey's continued passion is spread out across his parent's living room floor. His brother has managed to capture everything in the mundane: their old house, the twin's favorite restaurant, and the stray dog that used to follow Vic around.

Sonny runs his hands reverently over his memories as if he could absorb them into the present.

He pauses over a picture of Alex.

"Who's that?" Will asks, leaning over his shoulder.

Sonny has three older brothers. He loves them as a collective whole and as individuals. But while growing up, the twins had no time for an annoying little brother. Vic and Joey had each other first, and that meant they had their own language, their own games and pursuits. Joey surprised him by being his first and most eager supporter in the family. He'd thought it would be Alex. It always had been before.

He used to follow Alex around without any pride or reason. It wasn't that their father wasn't around— sure he was— but there was only so much of him to go around between a wife, four boys, and a demanding job in a foreign country. When he had a scraped knee or a bruise, he went running to big brother Alex first.

When they still lived in Texas, it was Alex who taught him how to throw a football. He went to every pee wee game Sonny ever played, even the ones Dad had to miss. He was always there with a high-five or a shoulder slap.

He took Sonny to his first R-rated movie— some skin flick that Alex chose. Sonny remembers sinking low in his seat, mortified beyond belief, and Alex nudging his arm with a big grin on his face. He'll never forget how Alex laughed at him on the walk home.

Things were different in Dubai because Sonny was different. He had to be when the punishment for being gay in Dubai could be as extreme as the death penalty. He doesn't blame his parents for bringing him there— he _doesn't_— because they didn't know. Sonny doesn't think he can be blamed either if he became more withdrawn— "_Independent_," Alex had said with a conspiratorial wink— in Dubai. He was afraid, always.

Alex grew away from him in Dubai, suddenly busy the way the twins were always busy. And for Sonny's part, he never really knew what to say because anything could give him away. Alex was big, bright, and open. Sonny was… not.

Alex was the only member of his family Sonny didn't come out to in person. He took the cowardly option once he was back in the states, and he did it through an email. It was a long email, full of embarrassing platitudes, pleas, and all the things he had been bottling up inside for years and years.

"That's my brother Alex," he tells Will. "He… I think he still lives in Dubai."

Alex never responded to his email.

"You _think_?"

He still occasionally receives the superficial "hey, how are you?" emails, but… Alex doesn't really want to know.

"We aren't really that close."

He can feel Will watching at him. He does that sometimes. He searches for clues in Sonny and his experiences that he can use to solve his own uncertainties, as if Sonny holds all the answers.

One photograph in particular catches his eye: lapis lazuli curtains caught billowing in the breeze. He holds the photo up over half of Will's face and, yes, the blues are the same. Beautiful.

Will pushes his hand away with a laugh. "Weirdo."

In his bedroom, Sonny tapes up Joey's photographs so that they form a mosaic of _home_ around his vanity mirror. Because, for all its flaws, Dubai _was_ home, and Sonny thinks he might have left a piece of himself there and it's the piece that misses the heat.

The photo of Alex he keeps in his wallet.

* * *

_III. Summer Job_

He had such high hopes for the website.

But just because his first business venture with the website went south doesn't mean that he gives up. No way. His ideas are legion. His next idea is better.

A café. A café that is more than a café because it is a place where people of all shapes, sizes, colors, persuasions, and identities can feel as if they belong. His very own safe zone. His offering to the ever-more-progressive people of Salem.

It might mean having to take some time off from Salem U, but school will always be there later. Business opportunities don't come along every day.

His first and second thoughts had been to do this together with Will. Will had been so passionate about the website. Also, it would be his safe zone, too, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

But Will isn't ready. Or he just isn't interested. Working for EJ instead means fancy clothes, fancy cars, and a fancy apartment. An upstart café coming up in a bad economy can't offer him those things yet (if ever). Maybe if he took Uncle Vic up on his offer of a hefty investment, but… he doesn't want to do that because it would kind of mean sacrificing his goal of being his own man. Not even for Will, thank you very much.

Either way, Will is out.

Chad is a much easier sell. Maybe because he gets what it's like to want to establish himself honestly and independently of an already-established dynasty. Chad also has no reason to feel threatened by the concept of a gay-is-okay-café.

He and Will still end up doing their respective homework together at the Brady Pub. For the sake of a peaceful afternoon, he chooses not to ask what Will is digging up for EJ.

Sonny is looking over permit applications when Will lightly bumps his arm against his. They're sitting too close again in a secluded booth in the back of the restaurant.

"You look so serious," Will teases. "It's weird."

_Help me_, Sonny nearly says. He thinks this latest venture is pretty special, and he wishes Will was comfortable enough in his own skin that he could be a part of it. He knows Will is interested because he's caught him glancing over his notes more than once. Will just laughs off Sonny's careful prodding as if it's all in his mind, but he doesn't think so.

Sonny wants Will's help because he thinks it would be good for Will but also because he could really use the help. Chad is awesome in many ways, but being able to sit down and focus on the minutia is not one of his many gifts.

He smiles tiredly and says, "Not everyone was blessed with both looks _and_ genius intellect." He nudges Will's laptop. "Those of us who only got the looks have to work a little harder."

Will's whole face lights up when he smiles— even when he's simultaneously rolling his eyes at Sonny. He glows from within. Golden boy.

Sonny's chest tightens. He goes back to his permits.

* * *

Will doesn't come to the grand opening.

* * *

When Will finally rolls in (a week later), Sonny can't help a little bit of snark at his expense. "Hey, thought you'd never make it here."

"Yeah, sorry. I wanted to make it to the opening, but my car battery died."

It's such a weak and obvious lie that Sonny can barely keep a straight face. "Really. In your new ride?"

Will can't even take himself seriously right now, grinning sheepishly even as he says, "Yeah. It _sucked_. Yeah." He goes for a diversion. "This place looks great!"

Sonny isn't quite ready to let him off the hook yet. "I've been trying to tell you that since we opened." People were asking after Will the whole day, constantly reminding him that Will should have _been_ there. He thought he would be, until he finally realized that he wouldn't.

At the trapped look on Will's face, Sonny relents and takes the sting out of his teasing. What's the point, really? Soon, they're horsing around again just like always, until he abruptly realizes that Will is way into his personal space, and his arms are around Sonny's waist, trying to reach the coupon card Sonny is hiding behind his back, that thousand watt smile too close— and how did _that_ happen? Sonny's smile slips.

Thankfully, Will's dad makes a well-timed appearance, and Sonny gets to be the coward this time. He escapes to the back room, leaving Will to deal with Lucas and the obvious tension he's left behind.

Sonny thinks he should still be angry. He kind of is, but it's hard to be mad at Will.

That doesn't mean he isn't disappointed.

* * *

_IV. Summer Storms_

Sonny's coming out process happened over a long period of time.

There was a lot of quiet angsting on his part and careful selection of confidantes that were approached one by one until he had cautiously worked his way up to the big dogs (Mom, Dad, Alex, Uncle Vic). Some people freaked. His parents went running to therapy. Uncle Vic was confused. Alex was silent. Alex is still silent, but overall, Sonny considers himself lucky.

Will's coming out process is painful, involving sweat, blood, tears, murder charges, and public outing via the media. He comes out of the closet kicking and screaming.

His sheer determination to be straight would have been a wonder to behold if it didn't make Sonny want to cry.

The denial can't last, though, because while Will may well be the most stubborn person Sonny has ever met, he is also one of the most emotional. He feels everything at high volume in a way that must be exhausting. When Will wants something, he _wants_ it with his entire being. And when he finally snaps, he nearly comes apart at the seams and ends up pawing a cute guy in an ally.

In retrospect, Sonny should have seen it coming. He shouldn't have been so shocked to find Will with Neil because Will at the time was a train wreck, lashing out in every direction to deflect his pain. It should have been obvious, and probably would have been if he hadn't been too distracted by the forest to see the trees.

It's just that... he initially took Will for a really bad liar. He kind of forgot to reevaluate that along the way. Too often, Will gives himself away when his eyes go too wide and he forgets to blink. As in when Sonny asks him if he really believes that EJ is innocent of those pesky murder charges. Things like that and, yes, Will is a bad liar.

But Sonny didn't know Will was gay. He had no idea.

When Sonny first arrived in town, Will was with Gabby. He was _with_ Gabby. They were attached at the hip (and the mouth) in the same way that Chad was with Abigail. Their connection seemed natural. Will's eyes _glowed_ when he looked at her. He was that convincing. And it was all a lie.

Sonny has experience with living in the closet. He isn't proud of it, but he has dated his share of girls (beards). But he wasn't as convincing as he liked to think.

One girl, who later became a friend, once told him, "I always knew there was something off with you. I just didn't know _what_." Thankfully, she could laugh about it later, but she tipped him off that he left clues that the identity he wore was a lie, probably because he was so unhappy with the false persona.

But he never suspected Will. Not until he started acting all nervous and jumpy around Sonny's friends any time someone looked at him too long. Sonny wasn't even a hundred percent sure right up until he saw with his own eyes Will kissing Neil as if his life depended on it.

Sonny would never say that he doesn't trust Will. Of course not. They're friends. Will might even be his _best_ friend.

But sometimes he remembers the way Will used to get around Gabby, how convincing he was, and he just wonders how well you can ever really know someone.

* * *

_V. Summer Home_

Sonny's first apartment in Salem is supposed to be a cheap bachelor pad.

His parents understand that his ultimate goal is to be completely self-sufficient even (especially) if it means living less than ideally for a while. They can respect that.

Uncle Vic is a different story.

Sonny had envisioned a one-bedroom with cheap, assemble-it-yourself furniture, maybe a futon and some bean bag chairs to start off. Aware of Uncle Vic's disapproval, he planned not to reveal his chosen space until after it was already set and done. And yet, somehow, on moving day, he had found his brand new apartment fully furnished to the nines.

Chad takes one look at Sonny's face and bursts out laughing. He had graciously volunteered to help with the move, but now there's nothing to move. Nowhere to fit his crappy futon.

Though disappointed, Sonny doesn't have the heart to throw a fit at this show of blatant generosity; however, he decides to put his foot down in the case of the giant dining table that takes up half his apartment.

The cheap fold-out table he replaces it with is his only rebellion and really only because his face burns at the thought of anyone else seeing that glass and marble monster.

Chad gets it only too well. He can't resist the dig, though. "Poor little rich boy," he says, smirking.

"Quiet, you. Help me get rid of it?"

Together, they load it up and take it to the nearest women's shelter and leave it as a donation. It will look just as absurd there, but at least it won't be absurd in Sonny's apartment.

* * *

Sonny throws a housewarming party.

His place is full of people and laughter. Margaritas are flowing like water. He swiftly moves in and takes the drink out of Will's hand before he can imbibe. "Sorry, youngin'. You're underage."

Neil is just as swift to put another drink in Will's hand. "Come on, Sonny. He's a big boy. Right, Will?"

Will smiles guiltily at him.

Sonny must look just as concerned as he feels because Neil laughs in his face. "He'll be fine, _Dad_."

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Will takes a rebellious gulp of margarita.

There's no way to challenge further without embarrassing himself. Defeated, Sonny slinks away with his tail between his legs. It doesn't take a genius to guess why Neil is so interested in being the cool, older friend to Will. Neil doesn't care that Will has been drunk more often than not lately, plenty of people more than willing to give him alcohol.

An arm goes around his shoulder, and Chad's voice is right in his ear. "I'll watch him."

Sonny smiles gratefully. "Who invited that guy anyway?"

"Will did. I think."

Will isn't the only one who needs a drink.

* * *

Will ends up sleeping it off at Sonny's place.

A month later, he's still there.

* * *

Sonny gets in the habit of waking up a little earlier so he can make Will breakfast.

He tries his hand at pancakes once with the thought that he might later work his way up to crepes. Having someone to cook for gives him an excuse for putting more effort into meals than his typical power bars (and for getting a cable subscription that includes the Food Network).

But usually, breakfast is just coffee. Will looks delighted and surprised every time to find even just a steaming mug waiting for him.

Sharing their mornings starts to feel like a ritual.

Sonny is glancing over the business section of his newspaper when Will says, apropos of nothing, "We have a cousin in common. Do you think that's weird?"

"In this town? Not really."

Will smiles sleepily at him over his cappuccino.

He doesn't want to get too used to this, but it's nice.

* * *

It really doesn't occur to him to worry until he finds Will's clothes in his laundry.

* * *

Admittedly, he is a little slow on the uptake.

But after a month, it does eventually click for him that Will has more or less moved into his apartment.

Will uses Sonny's spare key on nights when he has too much to drink (almost every night). His persistent presence may very well be owed to the convenience of his apartment's proximity to the bars. He knows Will is having issues with his mom. He's in high avoidance mode, but Will does have his own shiny new apartment courtesy of EJ. Sonny's couch must be more comfortable than he thinks it is.

Despite himself, he does get used to finding Will snoring on his couch in the morning. Sonny does his best not to stare as Will wanders around his apartment in his boxers.

It isn't that he minds. He doesn't. Wherever Sonny is, there's a place for Will. It's just that there have been some subtle changes to his apartment that he thinks they probably should have discussed first seeing as how Will doesn't technically _live_ there. Like the luxurious cappuccino maker sitting innocuously on his counter. Will must have bought it because Sonny knows he didn't. Also, Will's shaving cream is in his bathroom. And the _boxers_. He doesn't… he really doesn't… but. But.

Despite the awkwardness, it really isn't a problem. Until it is.


	2. Chapter 2

_VI. Summer Fling_

He doesn't trust EJ Dimera.

He doesn't like him, and he doesn't like the sway he holds over Will. Bad influence doesn't even begin to cover it.

EJ represents the opposite of everything Sonny strives to be: entitled trust fund baby, functioning selfishly, without boundaries, handed the keys to the kingdom just because he's a _Dimera_. And best not to forget _criminal_. He throws cars and cash at Will, waving the red flag of easy opportunism to Will's eager bull.

Sonny believes in hard work and the old adage that early birds get their worms. He doesn't want to take advantage of his family for their money or connections because he wants to create something for himself. The idea of being Will's _mentor_ weirds him out, but maybe Will needs him to be? Not like it matters, because Will isn't really paying attention.

He thinks he knows what Will sees when he looks at EJ. What anyone with 20/20 vision and active hormones sees when they look at EJ.

It will pass. He knows that.

Does Will?

* * *

Will has a habit of forcing Sonny to pay attention by going to extremes.

Sonny doesn't get how it doesn't seem to matter to Will that EJ is _blackmailing_ him. Or today Will is blackmailing EJ. As far as he can tell, they're chasing each other's tails with this blackmail business.

Will is too quick to defend EJ, but then in the same breath, he says things like, "I don't have a choice" and "I've been backed into a corner." He starts talking crazy about how he's going to manipulate EJ, about _learning_ from him.

It's becoming increasingly clear to him that Will _wants_ to be backed into a corner.

Again, he doesn't _really_ start to worry until Will nearly takes a murder wrap for EJ. Then, it's time to step in.

No one is more surprised than Sonny is when he volunteers to help. Will isn't the only one with a problem.

Will's smile is fond, if condescending, though Sonny doesn't think he means for it to be. "What could you do?"

_What could _you_ do?_ He smiles so Will won't know how bad that stung to hear. "I just want to be by your side."

Will's grin instantly becomes softer, and Sonny, mortified, realizes how that must have sounded. "I'm a Kiriakis," he quickly adds. "I have a history of dealing with Dimeras. And I'm a lawyer's son, by the way. So I can help you. I can—"

He's still arguing his case when Will shoots out of his seat to eagerly greet the tall drink of water that's just walked into the Brady Pub.

It surprises him to learn that Will has apparently been "hanging out" with the tall glass of water— Brian, his name is _Brian_— and Neil— so nice to see _him_ again— at the Spot. Without him.

Sonny hears a mean little voice start to whisper to him. It sounds suspiciously like his friend Ben, who sneers at the young, eager gay boys for "desperately falling on every dick they can reach." But that isn't fair because it isn't Will's fault. It's supposed to happen like this. Will is young, beautiful, and newly out. The world is his oyster. He should be exploring his options. Yeah.

Brian's eyes smirk at him when they shake hands.

Somewhere beneath the sinking feeling is the realization that he was right all along. Will is _nineteen_. And Sonny knows better.

What the hell is wrong with him?

* * *

Brian sees right through him in record time.

It shouldn't surprise him because Lucas did, too. Apparently he isn't fooling anyone. And he thought _Will_ was the bad liar.

Brian wastes no time before ripping into him. To be fair, he ripped into Will first. This is Sonny's first clue that, unlike Neil, maybe Brian isn't just about getting into Will's pants. It takes all of a second for him to wish it were that simple.

As soon as Will is gone, Brian takes his empty chair.

"Hey. Will left?"

There's an obvious chill in his response. "Sure looks like it. Don't you think you were a little hard on him?"

"I think the bigger question would be why weren't _you_?"

"Excuse me?"

"Aren't you all Mr. Out and Proud?"

The problem with coming from a prominent family in Salem is that everyone, even strangers, seem to know your business. "Maybe. But that's me, not Will. I've had a lot more time to adjust than he has. So, I'm not gonna force him to be someone he's not."

"Why not? He's _really_ good at it."

Ouch. "That's not fair."

Brian leans forward as if to impart some great truth. "Will is _gay_, Sonny. Gay as you, gay as me. But he'd rather people think that he _killed_ that Dimera guy than have them know the truth about him. To him, hanging out with a bunch of gay guys is worse than getting charged with _murder_. You get how messed up that is, right?"

Sonny rubs at his eyes tiredly. Where did this guy even come from? "You don't know anything about him or what he's been through." Geez, now he sounds like Will talking about EJ. And what an unfortunate comparison _that_ is.

"But _you_ do?"

"Yeah, I do," Sonny says loyally. "So, I think you should cut him some slack." Since he's apparently going to be _around_. "It wasn't easy for him to come out."

That's really all Sonny needs to say. He tries to escape, but Brian follows him to the refill station.

"He's out _now_. I just wish he realized that was a good thing."

"He will. Eventually."

Brian raises his eyebrow. "After you're done mentoring him?"

It feels like a slap, like T all over again accusing him of hovering like a vulture and just _waiting_ for an opportunity. Sonny is too embarrassed to call Brian on his sheer audacity at calling someone out who he's just met. He and Will are supposedly friends, so that's one thing, but he doesn't even know Sonny. He looks away.

"Come on," Brian says. "I see the way you look at Will, Sonny. You're into him. That's why you cut him so much slack."

"He's a good friend of mine." What else can he say? Brian isn't telling him anything he doesn't already know.

"But you wish he was more than that." Not a question. Brian snorts. "It's cool. I get it, man. He's hot. I'd want the same thing."

_Do you?_

"But someone like Will? He comes with a lot of baggage. Good luck."

He pats Sonny's arm as he leaves, and it's definitely condescending.

* * *

Sonny has been in love before.

He knows all the familiar aches inside and out.

There's nothing new in falling for someone you can't have.

They will get through this.

* * *

_VII. Summer Romance_

He told Lucas that he would wait for Will.

What he didn't tell him was that he expected to wait a long, long time. Years maybe. However long it takes for Will to get the desperate out of his system.

He never said waiting would be easy.

* * *

Sonny is working out his frustrations on an exercise bike at the gym when Brian leans over the bars. It's late, near to closing, and he isn't expecting to run into anyone he knows.

"Hello."

He keeps his stare straight ahead even though it means staring directly into Brian's bare chest. "Hi," he says shortly.

"Still mad at me?"

"I don't know you well enough to be angry with you."

"You could, though."

That catches his attention. His feet falter on the pedals. Sonny is fully aware that acknowledging the bronze demigod with dubious motives is a mistake. He looks up anyway.

Brian is apparently one of those rare people who can still look amazing even after a workout. His skin glistens. There's sweat running down Sonny's face. He hopes it is the miles he has put on the bike making his head swim.

Brian's grin is slow and knowing.

Sonny swallows around the lump in his throat. "I thought you were dating my friend."

"Will? Nah. I'm not really interested in babysitting." They act as if they're so much older than Will. On paper, four years doesn't look like much, but age isn't just about numbers. From where he's standing, there are whole light years between nineteen and twenty-three.

"And I'm not really interested in games."

"Good. Me either."

Brian touches his hand. Sonny yanks away as if burned. "I don't think so."

Retreat is the best option. Sonny gives up the bike and heads for the showers. Nothing sounds better right now than a cold shower.

He leans his head under the cold spray and lets the pounding of the water drown out the pounding in his head.

Sonny doesn't have to turn around to know that Brian has followed him. He can feel the heat of him at his back even before he says anything. He tenses at the touch on his hip.

Brian's breath tickles his ear when he whispers, "He's not ready."

Sonny is already sweating, and Brian is burning him. Brian's thumb makes slow circles on the bare skin just above his exercise shorts. Sonny takes a shuddering breath.

Brian's lips brush Sonny's shoulder. "But I am."

Sonny can't think of a single thing to say. His brain has flown the coop. Brian's grip tightens on his waist, and he's pulled back against a firm body.

Sonny leans further into the spray and rests his forehead on his arms against the cold tiles. Water in his eyes, and Brian's hot tongue on the back of his neck.

It feels kind of like drowning.

* * *

An hour later, and they're on his couch. Well, Sonny is on the couch. Brian is on his knees with his head between Sonny's legs.

Will is supposed to be… somewhere else. Sonny forgets where. Running around for EJ. Hanging out with Gabby or Neil or Chad or whoever. Somewhere.

His hand is in Brian's dark hair, tugging hard at the strands because Brian apparently _likes_ that, and his moans create this amazing vibration around him. It has been _way_ too long. His brain is being (literally) sucked right out of him, and so he doesn't hear the keys clanking in the door.

The gasp barely registers, but Will's voice, small and confused, definitely does.

"Sonny?"

It's a douse of ice water straight over his heart.

Will is still standing in the open doorway, still holding his keys in now limp fingers. Will's face is white as a sheet, and he's staring at Brian, who is still between his legs and— oh, God.

Sonny can't push Brian away fast enough. Brian is dislodged with a wet, popping noise that sounds as loud as a gunshot in his otherwise dead silent apartment. There's a surprised grunt when he falls back on the floor. "What the hell, Sonny—" His voice cuts off when he sees Will.

Sonny remembers himself and scrambles for a pillow to cover his lap. He would give anything now to sink right into the couch. "Will," he says miserably.

His voice snaps Will out of his paralysis. Their eyes meet, and Will stumbles back as if he were pushed. He covers his eyes much, much too late and says, "Sorry! Sorry. I didn't know you were— I'm sorry."

Brian glances between them with a resigned look on his face. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand— wipes _Sonny_ off his mouth— and smiles crookedly. "Hey, Will."

Will gives an awkward laugh. "Uh, hey. Um. Brian. Sorry. I didn't… I'm just gonna… go. In there." He takes off down the hall, and they hear Sonny's bedroom door slam shut.

He leaves a terrible silence behind him.

Sonny stands on shaky legs and pulls his pants back up. He can't bring himself to look Brian in the eye.

"You want me to go?" Brian asks.

He wants a time machine so he can undo the past two hours of his life. He wants to be able to call Alex to come rescue him again.

"Sonny?"

He doesn't answer, and Brian glares at him. "Right."

Sonny winces at the sound of another slammed door. Pants re-buttoned, he sinks back onto the couch and buries his face in his hands. This isn't what he wanted. Not to hurt Will, not to hurt _anyone_, not ever.

He sits there like that in the shadows for a long time until the silence threatens to drive him insane. He finds a midnight movie on the television. Because the universe hates him, it's _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_. Alex's favorite movie.

Will comes slowly out of his room after a while, clearly afraid he's about to walk in on another Cinemax moment.

"Did Brian leave?"

Sonny eyes him apprehensively. "Yeah, he's gone."

"Oh."

Will awkwardly hovers over him until Sonny sighs and pats the seat next to him. Will doesn't have to be asked twice. He settles so close against him that Sonny has to put his arm around him or else just be smashed uncomfortably against the armrest. One of these days, they will have a conversation about personal space.

They watch the movie in silence. Butch and Sundance take a daring jump over a cliff together to avoid capture. Sonny keeps his mind purposely blank.

He takes a deep breath through his nose, lips pressed tightly shut, when Will's hand touches his thigh. Brian didn't exactly finish what he started— Sonny's skin is still buzzing, much to his shame— and maybe sitting together like this is the worst possible idea ever.

His fears are confirmed when Will's fingers start tracing patterns on his thigh. Will can't know what he's doing to him. He can't because it would just be cruel.

"Sonny…"

He grips Will's hand in place so hard that it must be painful. His voice comes out strained. "Watch the movie, Will."

Will sighs and lays his head on Sonny's shoulder.

Sonny stares, unseeing, at the television until Will's breathing evens out in sleep.

* * *

_VIII. Summer Nights_

He knew better than to come out tonight.

The Spot is hot in every sense of the word. Too many bodies, not enough air. He can't move two steps in any direction without bumping into someone.

Of course, Neil is there. He wastes no time in sweeping Will off to the dance floor. Sonny waits patiently at the bar. It's impossible to keep an eye on them in this crowd. He hopes Neil behaves himself, because if he doesn't, then he's going to find out what happens when you manage to piss off every major Salem family at the same time.

He's eyeing the drinks longingly when Brian finds him.

"Dance with me?"

Sonny has already decided that Brian is trouble. But he's lonely and bored and tired of worrying about Will and Neil. So he follows Brian into the crowd.

Sonny does his best to keep it PG, but Brian is relentless— hands everywhere, bodies grinding together, his tongue in Sonny's ear until he is so hot and bothered that he's seconds away from dropping to his knees right there and taking Brian into his mouth. Anything to make this ache go away.

"My place this time," Brian says. No interruptions. No Will.

He should say no, but he doesn't want to. Not when he's been wound tight enough to snap since the night Will walked in on them (and maybe even longer than that). Not when Neil was practically licking his lips when he stole Will away. Not when it feels as if something is clawing its way up from Sonny's gut.

He's trying to find Will to tell him he's leaving when Will finds him.

He blanches when Sonny tells him. "You'll be okay here, right?" It's not like Will doesn't spend most nights here anyway without him.

But Will is shaking his head and saying something Sonny can barely hear over the music. He tugs Will closer so he can hear him over the pulsing bass. "What?"

"I don't want you to go home with him."

Sonny pulls back in surprise. "With… Brian? Why not?"

Will squints at his mouth as if he's trying (and failing) to concentrate on what he's saying, and Sonny realizes that Will is already drunk— freaking _Neil_.

"I just… I don't want you to go home with him." He clutches Sonny's wrist. "Please."

Will's expression is so miserable that Sonny's heart instantly breaks. He doesn't care about the whys, if Will even knows why. His friend is so confused right now. He has no idea what he wants or even up from down at the moment. Sonny wishes Will would believe him when he says that it will get better from here but he isn't there yet.

The choice isn't hard (blue balls or not).

"Then I won't," Sonny says. "Okay?"

Sniffling, Will nods. Sonny attempts a reassuring smile. It hurts to see Will like this, always so close to breaking apart.

But Will has gotten his way this time, and the tension saps out of his body. He slumps forward into Sonny's arms with a relieved sigh. Unprepared, Sonny staggers back and ends up flush against the wall with Will in his arms.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sonny knows they are pressed together in a way that probably looks obscene, but he doesn't have to acknowledge that. At least it's easier to hear him this way.

He cups Will's face in his hands and runs his thumbs over the perfect cheekbones he's admired since forever. He hopes the touch is reassuring. "We can just go home," he says.

Will's nose brushes his as he nods. "Yeah. Let's go home. You and me."

Sonny gently pushes Will's sweaty bangs back from his forehead (and out of his own eyes). Will's eyes close at the touch. "Okay."

When they get back to his apartment, Sonny will have Will drink lots of water and maybe even eat something with enough grease to soak up the alcohol— they'll have to stop somewhere along the way to pick it up since Sonny's kitchen is mostly stocked by Whole Foods. Will can have the bed tonight, and he'll take the couch. He will be hung over, but everything will essentially be okay in the morning. Sonny won't even bring up Will's issues with Brian (ever).

When Will's lips brush his, he takes it for accidental.

Head to head, legs entwined, and now mouth to mouth. He grips Will's shoulders to keep him from tilting them both over. It's too hot to be this close. He can feel a bead of sweat sliding down the back of his neck. Will's body is a furnace. He's going to push him back before they suffocate each other.

And then there's no room for ambiguity because Will is definitely kissing him. Sonny freezes, trapped. Undeterred, Will presses in harder.

When Will's tongue touches his, it's a livewire down his spine. Will's hand slides under his shirt, and he moans, a beautiful, perfect sound that echoes the moan that's been building up inside him for _months_.

Sonny snaps.

Has Will pressed up against the wall, Will's fingers digging into his back. Has his leg pressed between Will's so they're rubbing together just like that, yes, oh yes. Clutching Will to him with all the desperation of a drowning man. Tongues together until he has to dig his teeth into that precious neck, run his tongue over the teeth marks, and Will is keening and surging against him— "Yes, Sonny, please"— and the pressure that's been building and building inside just grows larger, hungrier. Will is under his skin, and he'd have to claw him out, except he can't because he wants, and Will is begging.

There is no one else in the room because Will's hand is between his legs, rubbing and kneading. Sonny rocks their bodies together so that Will's head bangs back into the wall. Will laughs, a high, hysterical sound, as if he can't believe this is actually happening.

"Take me home, Sonny. Your bed. Please."

He can picture it so easily. Pressing Will down onto his mattress, sucking him down until Will cries and then maybe riding him until there's nothing left in either of their minds but white static. The images leave him shuddering.

And he _can't._

Because Will is drunk and confused and a _baby_. And Sonny is a total asshole for taking advantage. _Shit_.

The effort it takes to pull away nearly makes him cry. But he does.

Will whimpers and tries to pull him back, but Sonny can't let him. He needs to get out of there, and not in the way he had planned five minutes ago (or even two seconds ago).

Sonny can't take him home to Will's apartment because there's no one there to take care of him. He also can't take Will back to his own apartment because he can't trust himself to put on the breaks if Will says _please_ again just so.

So he takes him to his grandma Marlena's. Poor Marlena is clearly shocked, but she clicks right into "Best Grandmother Ever" mode and sees to her grandson without even a hint of recrimination. Maybe that will come later, but not until Will can stand properly on his own two feet.

After leaving Will in more than capable hands, he goes back to the Spot and finds Brian.

When they go back to Sonny's place, Brian has him up against the counter, on the couch, anywhere, everywhere until they're both sweating and screaming.

Brian holds him down on his bed with Sonny's arms trapped above his head in an iron grip, his legs spread to accommodate the body between them. Brian is deep inside him, and Sonny turns his head and bites the pillow he had imagined pressing Will into.

Brian stops, and he finds himself trapped in Brian's relentless stare— blue, blue, such blue eyes— until Sonny is the one begging. And then Brian drops all pretence of restraint, and they move together until stars explode behind his eyelids.

For one blissful moment, it's enough.

* * *

Will doesn't speak to him for three days.

* * *

_IX. Summer Love_

It's ironic that he can be impulsive about so many things, but not about this.

Will can be impulsive, too. Cautious is a word he's never used, and he's still the most stubborn person Sonny has ever met.

"I _love_ you. Why don't you believe me?"

Love isn't the problem. Or it is.

"It's not that I don't believe you…"

"But you don't trust me."

Sonny looks away. He doesn't know what else to do. He can't tell Will that every time he sees him, Will happens to him all over again. Because…

He's going to get hurt. It… already hurts.

Will slides closer, presses their foreheads together. Sonny can already taste his defeat.

"Please."

Sonny closes his eyes so he won't have to look into Will's pleading gaze.

Breathes in and exhales.

"Please."

* * *

Chad looks at him over the pool cue and says, "You're a good guy, Sonny."

He shoots, and two stripped balls sail perfectly into the corner pocket.

"Maybe too good."

Silent, Sonny clutches his pool stick in white fingers and stares hard at the eight ball. It's blocking his shot. He can't win unless it moves, but it won't move unless Sonny risks hitting it into the pocket and forfeiting the game.

"You deserve to be happy, too."

* * *

"Okay," he says. Finally. "Okay."

* * *

_X._ _Fall, Year Two_

He wakes up to the warm blanket that is Will's body crushing him into the mattress.

He tries to gently nudge him off, but Will is surprisingly _heavy_. Sonny laughs helplessly into his pillow. Then, he reaches back and strokes Will's flank to get his attention.

He feels Will smile against his back. Not really sleeping, then.

"Hey, sleepy. Time to get up."

He snuzzles Sonny's shoulder. "No."

Sonny's caress becomes a pinch until Will yelps. "Up, or else you're going to be late for your evil overlord."

Will snorts, but he climbs off of Sonny's back.

He follows Sonny into the shower. The sight of a wet, naked Will distracts him from his purpose, and Sonny ends up kissing him against the shower wall until Will reaches for the shampoo bottle.

"Can I…?"

"Yeah." Sonny closes his eyes and sways under Will's fingers as he massages in the lather. He realizes after a second that Will is using his own shampoo. He's going to smell like Will all day.

He bites his lip. "It's not too late. We can still—"

Will grips his shoulder and stares him down in typical Will fashion. "Sonny, we're in love. Deal with it."

Well… okay. Okay.

He kisses Will until he feels happy and stupid again.

There will be time for regrets later. Right now, he's gonna finish this shower (and probably getting Will dirty all over again if his wandering hands are anything to go by). He'll open up the café, go about his day as usual, maybe see if Salem U is offering any online business courses for the fall, and prove to himself that the world hasn't been drastically altered by this.

Then, he'll deal.

* * *

Note: Selections of dialogue were taken from the _Days of Our Lives_ episodes on July 12, 2011 (Sonny meets Will's friends), August 8, 2011 (Chad puts T in his place), March 23, 2012 (Will finally checks out Common Grounds), and July 2, 2012 (Sonny meets Brian).


End file.
